The Motivation Equation: What No One Taught You About Getting Things Done

Let’s talk about a moment I know you’ve had.

You sit down to get something done—maybe it’s a task you’ve been putting off.
You know it matters. You know you should be able to do it.
But instead… you stare. You scroll. You panic-clean the kitchen. You freeze.
And somewhere in the back of your mind, a voice kicks in:

“Why can’t I just do the thing?”

“Why am I like this?"

You don’t want to be like this.
You’ve probably tried all the usual tricks—schedules, timers, to-do lists, accountability buddies.
Maybe even self-criticism, hoping guilt or pressure will finally get you moving.
But it just keeps happening. And the more you push, the worse it gets.

Today, I want to offer a completely different way to look at motivation.
Not as a personal flaw or discipline problem—but as a system. One that you can understand. And gently rebuild.

PART 1: WHY MOTIVATION BREAKS DOWN

Most of us were never taught what motivation actually is.
We think it’s supposed to come from sheer willpower—or worse, from fear.
But when motivation collapses, it’s rarely because you don’t care enough.

It’s usually because one (or more) of these three pieces are missing:

• Desire

• Meaning

• Agency

Let’s break that down.

Desire is the internal spark. The want.
Not “I should do this,” but “I want to do this.”
When your day is full of things you’re only doing out of obligation or dread, that spark dies.

Meaning is the “why it matters.”
If the task doesn’t connect to anything important—or you’re just doing it for someone else—it’s hard to sustain effort, even if you start strong.

Agency is your sense of choice, capability, and ownership.
When things feel forced, impossible, or dictated by external pressure, your brain goes into resistance or shutdown.

And here’s the kicker: pressure erodes all three.

The more you tell yourself “Just do it”, the more your nervous system tightens.
The more you fear failure or judgment, the more agency disappears.
Tasks lose meaning. Desire shrinks. You’re left frozen, confused, and ashamed.

You’re not broken. You’re trying to operate without fuel.

PART 2: THE MOTIVATION EQUATION

So what actually works?

I call this the Motivation Equation:
Desire + Meaning + Agency = Sustainable Motivation

Let’s walk through it with a real-world example.

Say you’ve been trying to write a big project proposal.

• You keep telling yourself it’s urgent.

• You block off time on your calendar.

• But every time you sit down, you scroll instead.

Let’s plug it into the equation.

Desire: Do you actually want to write this, or is it something you feel you “have” to do?
Could you connect it to a bigger want—maybe the impact it will have, or the relief of having it done?

Meaning: Why does this matter to you?
Can you locate a personal value here—not just doing it because someone expects it, but because it aligns with who you want to be?

Agency: Do you feel capable and in control?
Do you believe you can write it in a way that feels good? Do you have the time, tools, support you need?
Can you shift from “I have to do this all right now” to “I’m allowed to take one small step”?

When even one of those components is missing, motivation dries up.
When all three are supported—you move more naturally, with less fight.

I want to offer a little more bit of context here though, and I say the same thing to my clients. The Intrinsic North Star is like a database of context, resources, and methods tying into one unique path to dig into why executive dysfunction roots so deeply and what steps we can follow to unroot it. 

But it works differently for different people. So a method like this is truly just one teeny tiny piece of the puzzle. Please don’t get discouraged if you try this and it’s still not enough to pull you free. It’s meant to work in accordance with a foundation you’re building, which, for the record, you can begin to start building with my YouTube content and all that I’m sharing here.. But know that this one piece can’t stand on its own if your foundation has gone untended.

That’s not to say it can’t help in small doses, though, which is why you can absolutely still employ this and practice it. But know that it’s not a one and done exercise, and this doesn’t heal overnight. If it was, I wouldn’t be able to teach a program on my in depth, 6 months course on how to actually break free from executive dysfunction once and for all. 

If this is resonating and you want help applying it to your own life, I’ve put together a free resource to guide you through this framework.
It’s called “The Self-Discovery Workbook,” and it digs into what YOU Really want, so you can start to put the pieces together and see the gaps in your own ambitions.

Part 3: The HOW

Let’s talk about how you can use this equation in real life—without needing to overhaul everything.

Here are some practical questions to ask next time you’re stuck:

• For Desire: What would make this task 10% more appealing? Can I change the environment? Add music? Pair it with something comforting?

• For Meaning: Why does this matter to me, not just to others? What long-term goal or core value does this serve?

• For Agency: How can I make this feel more doable? What’s the smallest next step I could take that would still count?
  

The goal isn’t to feel excited about everything.
It’s to build just enough internal permission, clarity, and choice to begin.

And from there, momentum can take over.

——

If this gave you a new lens on motivation, and you’re starting to see how your nervous system patterns, perfectionism, or past experiences might be part of what’s been holding you back—
This is the exact kind of work I do with my clients.

In my program, we don’t just fix your schedule or optimize your calendar.
We rebuild the internal architecture of your motivation—so you can move through life from a place of self-trust instead of pressure and guilt.

If that sounds like something you’ve been searching for, I’d love to meet you.
You can apply for a free discovery call here, and we’ll talk about where you’re stuck and whether this kind of support is the right next step for you.

You’re not lazy. You’re not a failure. You just need a system that honors your brain.
And you deserve that.

And as always,

Stay in this corner of the internet as long as you need.