The trap that keeps ambitious people average

When you care deeply about the things you set out to do, you often strive to complete them as flawlessly as possible. You want to avoid the chance that you fail because then you’d have to face what that means about you and who you want to become. 

But it’s about more than just completing the tasks perfectly. You want to perfect every ounce of effort that goes into bringing you from where you are to where you want to be. And that’s what makes it perfectionism.

So you create extensive plans that give you a greater feeling of control. You create long, meticulous to-do lists to account for anything that could interrupt your efforts. And look for inspiration for this goal on YouTube or Reddit or Pinterest to hype you up for what’s waiting for you on the other side. You plan, and think, and talk, and talk, and talk about what it is you want to do… but you never let yourself do any of it. 

There is something about perfectionism that is more than just wanting to put forth good effort. That couldn’t be more wrong, because this pattern is far from being logical and cut-and-dry. 

But you don’t have to stay stuck in this loop forever, allowing it to whip you to and fro whichever way the wind blows.

Awareness of the mechanism behind this behavior is what enables interruption of it.

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There is absolutely nothing worse, at least in my experience, then the feelings of complete and utter worthlessness. The deep shame chilling your bones that comes from making yet another plan, and allowing it to fall by the wayside, unattempted. The heavy, yet empty aching in your heart as each day continues the same as the last. Sometimes you pick yourself up with just enough inspiration to consider trying again, to put forth effort in the things that don’t actually move you forward at all… only to fall further back down into the abyss of inaction. 

What kind of life is that?

You should be able to do the things you want to do. 

You shouldn’t have to carry this heavy shame that pulls your soul to the floor. 

You shouldn’t be trapped in cycles of preparing than doing,

improving the system instead of using it,

And expanding your goals in notebooks, documents, moodboards, and plans—but never executing in reality.

Ambitious, talented people are a treasure to the world because they have the ability to serve and give back with their gifts. They, more than anyone else, shouldn’t be trapped by their own potential. 

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For years, I thought that perfectionism was an amazing trait. It was the mark of someone ambitious and talented who would make waves wherever they chose to swim. 

But only after seeing how much pain it caused under the surface, I started digging deeper, and realized that it couldn’t be further from the truth. You don’t need to hear another person telling you how impressive you are from the outside just because of how much you seem to be juggling, both in actuality and in vision. 

You need someone to actually acknowledge that the pattern is hurtful, and it’s causing you a lot of unnecessary pain. Years of researching the psychological patterns behind this taught me that the answer is simple. Not easy, but simple–and with a clear path to follow, attainable. It doesn’t have to stay this way. 

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You have been viewing your story through a lens of needing to achieve and accomplish certain things to be worthy. If you strip your ambitions of all value and emotional investment, then this doesn’t weigh on you. 

But you aren’t a machine. The stakes at hand are very heavy, and so your mind is in a constant state of overdrive measuring the different possible outcomes. And even though you really, really want to achieve these goals and tasks and meet the version of yourself on the other side… you know that if you give it your all and fail, that you will have to deal with evidence that you may not be capable of changing after all. 

So you plan and perfect to try to account for anything that could catch you by surprise. You account for every detail of yourself and the world–every minute of time, every piece of energy, every commitment, to ensure you can’t fail. 

Here’s the truth. You’re trying to protect yourself. 

And the more you fall into this self-preservation behavior, you further raise the bar of what is considered “successful” until it isn’t even in view anymore. You think it is, because it is all laid out on paper and you can recite the requirements by memory… but it’s an illusion. 

You avoid the most important tasks because there is too much at risk. If you try, and fail, then you have to face the fact that your effort wasn’t good enough to get there. And your effort is only an extension of you, then you weren’t good enough. 

You were probably proud of your perfectionism at some point because it was proof that you cared deeply about producing good work, while others just slapped half-hearted attempts together and called it a day because they didn’t care as much as you. 

But it was all an attempt to reduce the risk in the outcome, and all it did was guarantee the worst outcome of all: never knowing.

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I want you to picture something important that you’ve been meaning to start, that you’ve been trying to perfect before actually beginning.

Are the things you do in an attempt to “perfect” it actually productive, or do they only provide the illusion of productivity?

A to do list doesn’t get you closer to getting something done if you keep tweaking it. Research doesn’t flip into action if it satiates the urge to actually do something long enough to keep you from moving forward. 

Ask yourself what kinds of behaviors you’ve been leaning into when you convince yourself you’re not ready to start… and what they’re actually accomplishing. Are they strengthening you, or protecting you? 

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If this challenges the way you've been thinking about your struggles with follow-through, I'm going to be starting a live webinar class COMING SOON soon to explore some of the biggest misconceptions people have about why they get stuck. It’s free to join, and may be your next step once you start putting some more pieces together. Sign up for the newsletter HERE to be the first to hear about sign-ups.

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This is more than just having high standards. Your relationship to the task at hand is hinging on something entirely unattainable, because that’s the only way you can ensure you won’t fail. If the target keeps moving and you keep delaying the starting tone, then you’re never on the racetrack long enough to risk losing the race. 

But even after starting to loosen perfectionism’s hold on your efforts, there can be a deep unsettling hiding beneath it. Perfectionism implies that you know exactly what goal you want and who you want to be. 

But if those goals were inherited from someone other than yourself… whether social media, or your peers, or your family… then no amount of pushing and perfecting can generate motivation strong enough to get you to the finish line. Trying to fake genuine commitment will always result in collapse, oftentimes before you even gave it a fair shot. But what if you genuinely believe the goals matter to you? How do you know that they were never yours to begin with? 

That’s what we’re answering in my next video HERE.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for multi-weekly videos like this breaking down the most common self-sabotaging patterns you never knew you had. 

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