Why You Feel Lost.

I didn’t even notice when it happened.

One day I was chasing goals—checking boxes, collecting praise, doing “everything right”—and the next, I was staring at my journal with no idea why I was doing any of it.

I wasn’t burned out from overwork. I was burned out from performing.

Performing “ambition.” Performing “driven.” Performing “who I thought I was supposed to be.”

And maybe you’ve been there too.

Maybe you’re in a season of your life where everything looks fine on the outside—but you feel deeply, achingly lost.

Not because you’re lazy.
But because somewhere along the way, you started living for validation instead of desire.
And now… you can’t find the thread back to your own why.

That’s what I want to talk about today.

Because the longer you try to force motivation without alignment, the more disconnected you become.

And the truth is—no productivity hack can fix a life built on someone else’s definition of success.

PART 1 – The Subtle Trap of External Validation

Most of us don’t realize how early it starts.

You’re praised for being the responsible one.
You’re rewarded for overachieving.
You’re told you’re “mature beyond your years.”

So you keep climbing.
You get good at reading the room—adapting, optimizing, delivering what’s expected.

And for a while, it works.
You feel productive. Respected. Needed.

But it’s a transaction.
And over time, that transaction starts to cost you something.

You stop asking:

• “What do I want?”

• “What lights me up?”

• “What would I choose if I wasn’t trying to prove anything?”

And here’s the scary part: when you spend enough time chasing external approval…you can forget what your own voice sounds like.

PART 2 – The Identity Crash

Eventually, something breaks.

Maybe it’s burnout. Maybe it’s a big life transition.
Maybe you hit all your goals—and still feel empty.

For me, it wasn’t a single collapse.
It was a slow unraveling.
Things that used to drive me suddenly… didn’t.

I couldn’t push anymore. I couldn’t pretend I cared.

But when I stopped performing, I didn’t know what was left.
And that’s when I realized—my entire sense of identity was wrapped in being “impressive.”

So without that?
I felt directionless.
Ashamed.

If that’s resonating for you… please hear me when I say:
This is not failure. This is the beginning of coming home.

PART 3 – Rebuilding From the Inside Out

So how do you rebuild motivation after it’s been hijacked by external validation?

It starts with permission.
Not just to rest. Not just to slow down.
But to want again.

To want things that don’t “make sense.”
To want things that aren’t productive.
To want things that are yours.

From there, it takes practice.
Reconnecting with desire isn’t always dramatic.
Sometimes it looks like noticing the spark when you walk into a bookstore.
Or realizing how calm you feel when you’re alone in nature.
Or remembering that you love asking deep questions—not to achieve anything, but because that’s just how you’re wired.

Desire is quiet at first.
But the more you listen, the louder it gets.

And slowly, you begin to build a life that fits you.
Not the version of you other people admired.
But the version of you that feels true.

PART 4 – Motivation That Lasts 

Once you reconnect with your own why, everything changes.

You don’t have to rely on pressure anymore.
You don’t have to force yourself through resistance every day.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone—including yourself.

Because when motivation is tied to truth, not performance—it becomes something you can actually trust.

You’ll still have hard days.
But you won’t be afraid of them.
Because you’ll know you’re building something that matters to you.

That’s what sustainable motivation looks like.
And that’s what I want for you.

If this spoke to something deep in you—if you’re in the middle of that fog, or trying to find your way back to something that feels like home—you don’t have to do this alone.

I offer a free discovery call where we explore your story, your stuck points, and your desires—and see if my program is the right next step to support your growth. This work is personal. And so is the path forward.

So if you’re ready to stop performing and start rebuilding from a place of truth—apply for a call here. I’d be honored to walk beside you.