You’ll never stop procrastinating if this doesn’t change.

Committing to try is infinitely easier than committing to succeeding, which can be really hard to do if you care deeply about the outcome. But sometimes, even after knowing that all you have to do is release the outcome to give yourself a chance to get started… you create an entirely new problem for yourself. You have no idea what counts as “trying,” and feel paralyzed all over again.

You have high standards for a reason. You have a specific vision for how you want your life, and everything you go after, to look. Your goals aren’t empty. They’re full of passion and what you believe will make you feel the most fulfilled. But those very standards are the reason we tend to cling so deeply to outcomes and wanting to make sure that effort is worth putting it.

So when you commit to “just trying” to get something done, you end up falling into the same trap.

You have no idea how much “trying” is enough. You have no idea where the real finish line is and you have no idea how to function without one. 

Defining acceptable progress is one of the most important skills in tackling avoidance, and by the end of this video, you’ll know exactly how to strengthen it. 

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When you sit down to do something, because you’ve reassured yourself that all you have to do is try to work on it… all the sudden, your mind is flooded with every single checkpoint that sits between where you are now and the end goal. All of those checkpoints are the data you will use to refine your goal and to know if you’re headed in the right direction– but because you’re trying to take your mind off of the goal for the time being, you have no idea where to direct your focus.

For example, if your kitchen really needs cleaning and you have this vision in your mind of deep-cleaning every last crevice–but that standard of needing it to be sparkling has kept you from getting started at all. You’ve done your best to release that expectation and instead to focus on just trying to work on it, but now all you can focus on is every single thing that goes into deep-cleaning the kitchen. The counters. And even if you clean the counters, there’s the stove. The hood. The oven. Behind the oven. The sides of the cabinets in the oven’s cut out. 

Now you feel so overwhelmed that even trying becomes something you have no idea how to guarantee. Nothing satisfies your goal-seeking because you have no idea where to set your sights. 

The truth is that progress exists on a spectrum–for the goal at hand and everything that goes into it. But you’ve been functioning as though total success is the thing worth celebrating, and so have no idea how to view anything less as complete. 

If you never know when you’ve done enough, then your need for standards still will never let you get started–and you will never change.

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What I realized after observing this pattern enough times in people just like you, those who really cared about the outcome and weren’t trying to sabotage their efforts on purpose… was that the solution is surprisingly simple. The people who get a lot done aren't just doing more. It’s so much more nuanced than that. Rather, they count more things as successful so that completion is so much more achievable, and each accomplishment just rolls into the next without demanding perfection of them.

And that’s because, in their eyes, success doesn’t always equate completion. It’s not black-and-white you did the task or you didn’t. Sometimes it’s gaining a little momentum to keep going, sure. But maybe you need more information. Or you know in the back of your head that a different task has to get done first to enable working on the second. Maybe it’s just chipping away at something. 

And I don’t mean doing side quests to procrastinate doing the actual task, because I see you and know that you do that from time to time. I’m talking about all the little things that go into working on a task aside from the actual moment of completion. Progress does not always have to be the same tangible thing task after task. There are layers to it.

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You’ve been framing progress as outcomes. The only way progress counts is if there is a measurable outcome at the end of it. But there are so many tiny steps throughout that process, and disregarding them makes that measurable outcome all the more out of reach.

If success only counts when the task is complete, then starting is harder because the stakes are much higher. Setbacks are inevitable because there is only one acceptable path to follow. But if the path is more open ended as to what is considered successful, then setbacks don’t really exist. There are only redirections. 

You can complete the task some days, or maybe just move the task forward, or discover something useful, or maybe you’re just practicing self-trust in the sense that you do what you promise. And today, that can be, promising to release the expectation that success is one size fits all.

To help put this into perspective, imagine growing an apple tree. The outcome could be bearing good fruit–but according to Google, it takes 2-8 years for an apple tree to produce apples. That means that all of the watering for up to 8 years has no visible outcome. But those steps are necessary to move the growth forward. 

The value of effort is not solely based on the outcome it produces, but rather the bigger picture it is contributing to–yes, the goal itself, but also the values in you it is strengthening, the skills it is building, and the person you are becoming.

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Take a task that you’ve been avoiding lately. Instead of asking what counts as finishing it, ask yourself what counts as “working on it.” 

That’s the same painful, open-ended question we had no idea how to answer at the beginning of the video. But I think you can take a solid stab at it now. 

Instead of “write the article,” what are the pieces that make up that goal that could move you forward, like opening the document, working on the outline, writing one paragraph, et cetera?

When the finish line becomes something you can see in the next ten minutes, does it feel more or less approachable?

And what do you say about going to do it right now? I’ll be here when you get back :).

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If you’ve read enough of this content to finally accept that it isn’t supposed to be this hard to do the important things, then book a call HERE.

During our conversation, we'll dig into what's actually going on beneath the surface. We'll explore the specific patterns driving your procrastination, overthinking, avoidance, perfectionism, or inconsistency.

And if I think it’s the right next step, I’ll give you all of the information regarding The Intrinsic North Star, an entire step-by-step program and exclusive community helping you walk from beginning to end of this struggle. It was built by years of struggle, countless interviews with people just like you, and thousands of pages of research. 

My goal isn't to convince you of anything. It's to help you understand your situation with greater clarity and determine what the next step is for you to finally be free.

If that sounds like the conversation you need, you can book a call HERE.

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I get that it can be tough to accept this lesson because you don’t want to lower your standards. I get it. I’m the exact same way.

But shifting what makes progress “acceptable” is not lowering your standards. It just ensures that progress is more attainable, and then therefore makes those standards actually possible. 

Without a range for what makes progress acceptable, then you’ll just turn trying into another impossible goal because it’s in your nature–you’ll keep spinning your wheels and you’ll only end up more defeated. You deserve to break out of that cycle. 

The thing about people like us, those with ambition and high standards, is we like things to be under our control. Which is why it’s the most frustrating when we seem to be improving and like we’ve got a handle on our task initiation… and then it slips out right from under us for seemingly no reason.

What’s happening when the goal at hand and your intentions say the same, but your ability to follow-through completely drops off?

That’s what we’re answering in the linked video HERE (to be released on 6/22) about how one person can shift between fully capable and unable to act without any visible change.

Don’t forget to subscribe HERE if you’re ready to stop letting these patterns control you. And if you’ve heard enough and know that what you need is a path to follow that takes out the guesswork… then book a call HERE.

And as always, stay in this corner of the internet as long as you need.