You’re procrastinating because success feels like the only acceptable outcome

You are waiting to feel ready to get started on the things that matter most to you. But it’s deeper than just wanting this mythical “ready” feeling or the all-powerful motivation. You think it is, and like it’s only a matter of waiting for the right time, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There is nothing special about a few hours from now or tomorrow that the current moment does not have. You know that.

So why are you doing this? 

Without even realizing it, you’ve decided that your actions have to look a certain way, and have to have a certain result, for them to be worthwhile at all.

But you know that you can’t guarantee something like that… so it’s safer to avoid taking action at all.

You feel that way because you care deeply about whatever it is you’ve set your mind on. It’s not a bad instinct. But it’s a paralyzing one. And it’s time you understood it so that you can finally loosen its hold on you. 

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The problem you’re facing is that each task is hand is way more than the steps it takes to complete it. You don’t just need to spend time cleaning the house, or go to the gym, or work on your book, or brainstorm your business. 

You decided a long time ago that certain outcomes were the only acceptable answer, and your effort had to always lead toward those certain outcomes. It had to matter. 

As a result, every single action you take (or don’t take) feels like a loaded gun. Because you aren’t just deciding if it’s time to get started working on something. You’re deciding if you’re ready to risk failure. Uncertainty. Shame. Or just a different outcome then the one you decided was acceptable.

And the worst part about it is, the results you want build up the kind of person you want to be. The results you want strengthen your skills and make you into a better person. It’s not right that the very fact that you have high standards is what’s holding you back to fulfilling them. 

Nobody can guarantee outcomes. You know that, and yet, you have to feel sure about what comes next before following through on what makes any outcome possible. You’re demanding reassurance from something that doesn’t even exist yet, and it’s keeping you trapped.

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It took me actually healing this hurtful pattern through years of trial and error and desperate research to realize the difference between people who just take action without a second thought and those who need to feel ready. 

And it’s not that the effortlessly productive people trust themselves more. It’s just that they require less of themselves, and of the world, honestly, before getting started. They changed the focus from the outcome and their ideal success to the effort in working toward it. 

And I know that must feel terrifying, because if you prioritize the process, then you’re taking your hand off caring about the outcome, and thus you’re going to have subpar results.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

If you allow yourself to get started by simply being willing to participate before knowing the outcome, that frees you up to make educated observations about those actions and the effort that you’re putting toward that outcome. You’re more capable than ever of making better choices to further narrow in on that desired outcome and reduce uncertainty. 

So they’re not more capable than you. They’re not better. They’re not stronger. They are just more tolerant of the discomfort of uncertainty. 

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Most people who struggle with this, as I certainly did, think that the order of events goes like this. They decide to act, they feel certain about their effort, and then they act. But I’ve realized it goes more like this– decide, act, and then discover. Completely take certainty and reassurance out of the equation, because all it is is a self-preservation method against an undesirable outcome. But as I said, putting yourself in the ring is the only thing that will give you an upper hand in influencing that outcome.

The necessary steps you need to take for the desired outcome only reveal themselves after the step that comes right before. It’s not information you can possibly attain before getting started. But you’ve tricked yourself into thinking you can with researching, planning, and perfecting to-do lists. It’s all an illusion–because you can only prepare so much for a situation you haven't even entered yet, let alone seen in reality.   

When trying is an entirely other objective, then you’ve taken goals and outcomes and high standards off the table. It doesn’t mean that those things go away. But it means you’ve diverted your focus long enough to make fulfilling those goals and high standards possible–because you’ve achieved the only thing that can possibly get you there. Trying. 

Because trying doesn’t ensure that you make progress, because that’s just another way of measuring the worthwhileness of your effort. Trying ensures that you engage at all. 

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Do me a favor and picture the very last task you procrastinated on. What outcome were you secretly demanding before you even began, and was being unable to guarantee it the reason you couldn’t get started? 

Try to pivot your goal for that same task to committing to try instead of accomplishing it. Remember, this doesn’t mean that you don’t have the same standards and end-goal in mind. The task, by nature, has a starting and desired end point. No amount of reframing will change that.

You’re just pivoting your focus to allow you to engage the process to start working toward that end point.

So, what if it became, “I’m going to try,” instead of, “I need to get this done”?

How does the emotional weight shift, and what does it reveal about the true obstacle at play? 

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If this challenges the way you've been thinking about your struggles with follow-through, I'm going to be starting a live webinar class soon to explore some of the biggest misconceptions people have about why they get stuck. It’s free to join, and may be your next step once you start putting some more pieces together. Sign up for the newsletter to be the first to hear about sign-ups.

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You don’t need certainty before action. Certainty in and of itself is an illusion, and my life got so much easier when I realized that. Realizing it and releasing it are two entirely different things, but one step at a time (lol).

There is no certainty in task initiation and goal achievement. And honestly, why would you want it?

If your goals are completely fixed, then there is no room to improve them based on what you learn along the way. There is a chance that the goal at hand isn’t even what you truly want when all is said and done, and the only way to know for sure is to try it out. Whether the goal is about the certain cleaning strategy you’re trying for your home, or how you’re going about starting a business.

Committing to try works because it removes the burden of trying to predict something that doesn’t even exist yet, and maybe never will. But that’s not a bad thing. 

Although it opens up a new struggle because you’re working muscles that have never been tested before. Especially when there are some tasks that are so cut-and-dry, completion is genuinely the only thing that matters, like taking out the trash. You can’t just start taking out the trash to abandon it by the door.

So even though you may be ready to try, just to try… the question is, “If I’m trying to shift my goal from perfect outcomes to make trying easier… then what even counts as meaningful engagement?” 

That’s what we’re answering in the featured video that talks about how to decide what counts as progress, so you can actually put this into practice. You’ll find the link HERE (to be released on 6/19).

Don’t forget to subscribe HERE for multi-weekly videos like this breaking down the most common self-sabotaging patterns you never knew you had. 

And as always, stay in this corner of the internet for as long as you need.